I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
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