holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Randomize
