last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
Randomize
