I have two black x marks on my hands.
Yep you got cut off last night after a stripper bent over in front of you and you screamed very loudly 'I can see your soul from here'
damnit I wish I could remember that.
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
Randomize
