Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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