She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize
