Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
two words: eviction party
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
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