guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
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