i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
I can't trust your balls anymore.
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
Randomize
