it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
