Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
