yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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