people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
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no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
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My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things ππ
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
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