I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
he wants to bone in the snuggie
were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
Randomize
