He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
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