Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
Randomize
