so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
Randomize
