How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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