JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
only you would photoshop your dick
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
Randomize
