Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
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