So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
At least life still wants to fuck me.
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
Randomize
