By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
