Well apparently he's into motor boating.
I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
Randomize
