He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
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