Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
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You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
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In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
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