Kiss
Puke
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Randomize
