I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
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