Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
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