i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
Randomize
