oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
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