my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
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