i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize
