the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
I'm not sure that our 12-years-ago-high-school-"relationship," and 179 texts in the last 4 hours is gonna be enough to squeeze a naked smartphone picture of me. I'm gonna need some chicken wings or Makers Mark before that starts happening.
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
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