What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
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