READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
Someone shattered a urinal.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
Randomize
