margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
Who did Billy Mays play for?
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
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