yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
I need a sign that says “please don’t make plans with me if I’ve had two or more drinks. I will regret them. I will have bitter feelings towards you. Then I will cancel and feel guilty.”
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
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