He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
Randomize
