don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
Randomize
