She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
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