I have demons in me.
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
How does one acquire holy water?
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
Randomize
