this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
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