somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
My butt remains clenched, sir.
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
Randomize
