do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
Randomize
