summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dicks are not precious.
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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