By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
Randomize