hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
Even my vagina gasped.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
What happened to fro yo and sex?
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
Randomize
