Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
Randomize
