Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize