She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
Randomize
