Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
Randomize
