I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize
