i permit you to call me
how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
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