WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
Randomize
