suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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