She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
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