they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
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