Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
PS: I just woke up from my shower
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
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