He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
Randomize
