shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
Randomize
