the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Randomize
