I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
