Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
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