Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
Randomize
