I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
