The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
I just called my kid butt plug. Does that make me a bad mommy??
This may be the most diplomatic thing you've ever said
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