Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
Randomize
