Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
Randomize
