it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
Randomize
