No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
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