I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
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