real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
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