Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
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