I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
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